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I am tired of being alone.

I am tired of boys like Dan,
Who make me doubt myself.
That's right. I'm putting a name to the identity.
You're no longer going to be able to hide and run.
And you can apologize a thousand times,
But you can never take back how bad you made me feel towards myself.

I am tired of boys like Jim,
Boys I can't shake. Boys I can't forget.
That's right. I'm admitting it.
I can't seem to make the lie I've been telling myself real.
I can't get over you.
But maybe that's because ther isn't anyone there to help me climb.

I am tired of boys like Mike,
Who wait and wait until Rapunzel's already left her tower.
That's right. I know how you feel.
I guessed after the games we've played.
And it's alright,
But I don't know how I feel. So I can't tell you.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to all of you,
Because I can't be as strong as you think  am.
Because smoetimes I get so mad at the world,
I scream and cry and pull out my hair.
Because I hate my body,
But can neverdo anything about it.
Because I can't have you,
Because I don't deserve you.
I apologize for lying to all of you about who I am.
I'm not confidant in myself. I need someone to make me that way.

There are a million shining stars in the sky tonight.
Thought right now I can't see a one.
Sometimes I think see one.
Then find out it's a plane trying to take me somewhere new.
But one day will come when I'll see a star,
And we will burn together in a supernova like no other.
Maybe I've glimpsed that star without realizing.
And maybe I'll discover one that no one's ever seen.
I haven't been able to write for a long while, I'm not sure, it just hasn't been there. This bit of writing makes my heart hurt.

Thanks, Esther for the title. I hope you're happy even if we never met. Rest in peace and say hi to God for me.

I'm sorry Mike of you read this before it all goes down. But this, this is my place. And I don't censor out of fear.
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:iconbugsyandhawkeye:
BugsyandHawkeye Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
It takes guts to admit things like this.
Thinks like your insecurities and such.

I admire that, and you.
But putting this out in the open, you have proven yourself way more confident and put together than you think you are.
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:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Student Writer
Thanks chica
Reply
:iconbugsyandhawkeye:
BugsyandHawkeye Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
de nada, girl
Reply
:iconmojorox:
Mojorox Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2011
Hey girlie, you ok? I know you may not believe it, but I'm totally going through the same thing, and it completely sucks. It's like, "I don't want to wait for the perfect guy. Can't a guy just make me feel good about myself?" And girlie, I honestly don't know a lot of girls who are comfortable with their bodies (including myself), but one of these days, you'll see how amazing you are. And don't worry about Dan. He's icky. He totally insulted me in one of his poems! Guess that's what happens when you stop being with someone, but now we've both learned from that. And don't forget girlie, I love you! Like, a lot. :)
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:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011  Student Writer
yeh imma cool. But how are you uncimfortable w your body? you seeriously look amazing. He insults me in like all of them. thx
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:iconmojorox:
Mojorox Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2011
Idk, I just am. :( And seriously, he just needs to stop. It's totally insulting.
Reply
:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Student Writer
ikr
Reply
:iconkasumi611:
kasumi611 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You must feel amazing right now; just by reading it, I think almost EVERYONE can tell what a huge weight was just lifted off your shoulders. And you know what? You deserve it.

:iconninjaglompplz: NOW YOU GO OUT THERE, AND YOU SHOW THEM. WHO'S. BOSS!
Reply
:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011  Student Writer
Thanks sweethears, I'M READY TO RUMBLE! by he way that ninja glomp is the cutest thing ever.
Reply
:iconkasumi611:
kasumi611 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
You must feel amazing right now; just by reading it, I think almost EVERYONE can tell what a huge weight was just lifted off your shoulders. And you know what? You deserve it.

:iconninjaglompplz: NOW YOU GO OUT THERE, AND YOU SHOW THEM. WHO'S. BOSS!
Reply
:iconmasvida:
masvida Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2011
:hug; I'm sorry... the way they treated you is definitely not deserving.

I'm glad there's hope at the end, though.
Reply
:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011  Student Writer
:cuddle: thaanks sweetheart. and of course, there's always hope.
Reply
:iconmasvida:
masvida Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011
Wish I could send you a prince charming but.. well, I'm not magical.... dang. But you'll find that yourself, okay?
Hope is the pandora's box gift
Reply
:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2011  Student Writer
well let me know wwhen the powers develop! and I know XD
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:iconmasvida:
masvida Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011
I will! And of course you do.
Reply
:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011  Student Writer
XDXDXd
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:iconmasvida:
masvida Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011
Oh my.
Reply
:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011  Student Writer
lol sorry my face just spazzed for a moment there
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(1 Reply)
:iconblackcatmisfortunate:
BlackCatMisfortunate Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011  Student Writer
My reaction even though I've never met you:

FUCK YEAH.
Reply
:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011  Student Writer
Haahahahaha! Well thanks
Reply
:iconcrecy:
Crecy Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011
You should never censor your work because of who MIGHT read it. For me, seeing names up there makes it so much more powerful. Makes it personal. You did very well on this one...
Reply
:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011  Student Writer
Thanks, yeah this one was difficult to write, but really really easy at the same time- if that mkes sense. Which, I know it doesn't. And all of my poetry is personal, I just find it powerful that way. And thank you for reading, it always aamazes me that i'm able to connect wih people I don't know, and feel respected by them. And you just reminded me of that. sorry, that was weird.
Reply
:iconcrecy:
Crecy Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011
Naw, I get it. Hard to get the courage to pick up the pen, easy once you start. Believe me. I know. Seems like everyone I meet on here understands, and yet is still proud and amazed... It's weird, but cool, ya know?
Reply
:iconbookworm012496:
bookworm012496 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2011  Student Writer
thanks again...:hug:
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